Friday, June 27, 2008

Show me watcha got!

The beloved Angelina is Yahoo's number one search for today... mostly because of E!'s top 10 best features of the broad. Everyone wants a piece of her. But why not? She's hot! Just in case, by some random bout of blindness and retrograde amnesia you forgot what the world's hottest honey looks like, here ya go.

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No need to thank me. (Okay, okay! You're welcome.) The list even includes Angie's mole. This is empowerment to all those ladies (and fellas) who have moles, including yours truly. Of course, you can't forget the other mole-ified ladies such as Marilyn Monroe and Cindy Crawford.


marilyn monroe

This is what we call the "cheeky mole."


cindy crawford

And here we have the "above the lip mole." Now someone please explain to me why above the lip piercings are called Monroes? Hmm? Shouldn't they more aptly be called Crawfords? God forbid we mistake Cindy for Joan and go off into a "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS" freakout.

Enough about that. Let's talk Sienna.

ContactMusic.com recently published a short piece about Ms. Miller stating that she was "unfazed by [the] lesbian love scene" in her new movie, The Edge of Love, with hottie Keira Knightley. What love scene?!! When you say love scene, do you not imply intercourse? Oh yes, pigeon, you do. Of course everyone wants more than what they get with this film, so why is any one going to see it when there's that one major let down? Ah yes, because if you say "lesbian," we'll even sit through Gigli. (As if we weren't already going to sit through it just to see J.Lo.)

edge of love
Ack!
You vile temptresses! This is no ordinary embrace! It defies normal gal pal etiquette! Have you no shame to tempt us in such a fashion, Keira? Sienna? How dare you lead us to believe that we'll actually see hot and steamy Gia-esque scenes in your new film.
May the gods have mercy on your souls.
(Oh and Jodie, if you ever decide to come out or do a lesbian movie... give us what we want!!!)

2 comments:

tfirma said...

2 funny...it sounds like you have seen more girl movies than i have. I love JLo; but even with that i had a hard time finishing Gigli.

lezstar said...

You're right. Angelina Jolie is perhaps the hottest woman ever. :)