Curvalicious!

It's so good to see so many beautiful women in Hollywood with curves! I'm so tired of the stick-thin models and actresses flashing their bones in my face. It's gross. Not that some of them aren't hott... it's just so much nicer to see a lady with a little bit of "cushion for the pushing" (as my brother calls it.) [That phrase makes me smile, pigeons.]



Some of the hottest ladies were at this year's BET Awards show. And oh how sexy they were. It's hard to pick a favorite, but here's my top two.

Alicia Keys is one of the hottest forces out there now. She's music to my ears and my eyes. She's the curvalicious "Superwoman." Those new muscles she's sporting look like they could do some damage... but those thighs... that behind... her face... Gorgeous. Thank you for blessing us with your presence, Ms. Keys. (And when you decide to come out, look me up.)

Then there's Queen Latifah. I'm not happy that she's on Jenny Craig... but I understand she wants to be healthy. Whatever. Just don't loose those curves baby!

Who would have guessed that since her rappin' days she'd become a bomb shell?! Oh yes, I still bob my head whenever I play Ladies First, but now I see sexy, stellar Queen... Thanky thanky, me lady. (And when you decide to come out, look me up. You and Alicia are going to have a throw down over me and I'm looking forward to it!)

Haha. :)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

Oh, you've gotta love Yahoo! Whether the newest featured article "Out and Proud Celebs: These stars are not afraid to be open about their sexuality" is due to California's decision to issue gay marriage licenses or simply because it's the end of Pride Month, it's still nice to see LGBT coverage on my homepage when I get onto the internet. It's really of no great importance... it's simply a picture list of homosexuals who are out of the closet. Of course, most of the people listed in this article are gay men and their partners, but Ellen and Portia snagged the "cover photo!" [Congrats to all.] Here's the pics of the ladies, in case you're too lazy to look up the article.

First up we have Ellen DeGeneres and her fiance Portia de Rossi. (My favorite Sapphic couple? Oh yes yes yes.)

Next up we have Melissa Etheridge and her wife, Tammy Lynn Michaels. (Baby, you can sleep while I drive.)

The last couple on the list? Who else but Rosie O'Donnell and her once-out-of-defiance-wife-but-still-her-partner Kelli Carpenter. (They say they won't remarry until it's legal nationwide.)

And last but not least, Gossip's own Beth Ditto.

Pretty good list. I'd love to see some more lesbians on that... but beggars can't be choosers... or can they? Hell yes, we can! We want more! more! more! I feel like the Oliver Twist of the lesbians-in-the-news deprived.

To make up for the deprivation, my subconscious let me have quite the dream after I crawled into bed around 4 am this morning. Of course it started out slow, but it ended up with me making out with LGBT pop icon, Cyndi FREAKING Lauper.

Needless to say, it was a rather good dream. Thank you, subconscious. If you want to catch Cyndi on tour this summer, hit up some of the True Colors dates and see her, the B-52's, the Cliks, etc. I hear it's quite the show... and what girl doesn't want to have fun rocking out to the ultimate girl anthem?

Another great hottie who's a few decades too old for me? Cher. I know her kid's gay... but why can't Cher be that too? I'd jump over 50 of Cher's gay spawn to get to her. There's nothing like the real thing, baby.

I honestly wouldn't care if she "turned back time" and was 20 years old, or if she speed it up and was 109... I'd be all over that, given the chance. :)

Oh... what dreams may come!!!

Show me watcha got!

The beloved Angelina is Yahoo's number one search for today... mostly because of E!'s top 10 best features of the broad. Everyone wants a piece of her. But why not? She's hot! Just in case, by some random bout of blindness and retrograde amnesia you forgot what the world's hottest honey looks like, here ya go.

No need to thank me. (Okay, okay! You're welcome.) The list even includes Angie's mole. This is empowerment to all those ladies (and fellas) who have moles, including yours truly. Of course, you can't forget the other mole-ified ladies such as Marilyn Monroe and Cindy Crawford.

This is what we call the "cheeky mole."

And here we have the "above the lip mole." Now someone please explain to me why above the lip piercings are called Monroes? Hmm? Shouldn't they more aptly be called Crawfords? God forbid we mistake Cindy for Joan and go off into a "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS" freakout.

Enough about that. Let's talk Sienna.

ContactMusic.com recently published a short piece about Ms. Miller stating that she was "unfazed by [the] lesbian love scene" in her new movie, The Edge of Love, with hottie Keira Knightley. What love scene?!! When you say love scene, do you not imply intercourse? Oh yes, pigeon, you do. Of course everyone wants more than what they get with this film, so why is any one going to see it when there's that one major let down? Ah yes, because if you say "lesbian," we'll even sit through Gigli. (As if we weren't already going to sit through it just to see J.Lo.)

Ack!

You vile temptresses! This is no ordinary embrace! It defies normal gal pal etiquette! Have you no shame to tempt us in such a fashion, Keira? Sienna? How dare you lead us to believe that we'll actually see hot and steamy Gia-esque scenes in your new film.

May the gods have mercy on your souls.

(Oh and Jodie, if you ever decide to come out or do a lesbian movie... give us what we want!!!)

state of being... or crisis?

First off, Usher's comment in the 2008 issue of VIBE magazine about lesbians made me laugh so hard, I almost peed on myself. No joke. It's completely absurd... here's what it said: "Women have started to become lovers of each other as a result of not having enough men."

HA! Are you serious Usher? Looks like you've got cake on your face. Okay, even if you wanted to "solve" that problem you've created in your mind, are you going to be the one rallying the troops together to fix us lesbians? I'm sure you'd love to cheat just one more time so you can make another Confessions album and this time put in there how you "cured" lesbianism... but that's just it. We are lesbians... and not by choice. We are lesbians because we love other women. You can have twice as many men on this planet, and we're still going to want a woman. That's how we were born.

Lesbian: (noun) A woman whose sexual orientation is to women.

Now that we have that knowledge... let's move on to different issues. Angelina Jolie did a public service announcement for World Refugee Day on June 20th.

God on ya, Angie.

Now, I can't say that I'm actually looking forward to her new movie Wanted, because I've been waiting for it for over a year now... so at this point I'm just thinking, "Alright already!!! Give us the damn film!" However, I keep seeing all of these trailers for it and can't help but realize how incredibly skinny Angelina is getting. Seriously honey, eat a biscuit!

Poor Ms. Jolie. I hope your babies don't come out malnourished. Either way, I'm sure they'll be freaking gorgeous... once they've fattened up a bit. No one likes the skinny cow in the pasture. :)

So now that gay marriage is legal in California, (hopefully permanently... fingers crossed!!!) does this mean Angie and Brad are going to wed? She did say that they were going to wait until everyone could marry, did she not? And now that you don't have to be a resident of Cali' to marry there, is it time for her and Mr. Pitt to tie the proverbial knot? Hmm...

One thing's for sure... there's a lot of other people getting married on the West Coast. (ie: Ellen and Portia.) I think it's amazing that people who love each other can express it legally! If only we could get the other states (and our parents) to change their minds and let us be equal! Isn't it just the craziest thing that oppressed people can have pride? It just goes to show that we have a mentality that somehow states, "You can hold us back, but you can't break us. Just don't expect to hold us back forever!" I'm so happy that the "most popular" state in America is making a public show of ending inequality... even if there is a governor there who refers to some men as "girly men." We can't change everybody's mind.

Well, congratulations to all of those happy couples out there. I'm looking forward to picking up my wedding license some day too!

Make History.